Random musings of a Reluctant Engineer

When I was younger, I had high levels of energy. ( I didn't realise it then, I realise it now, when I am older ). I wanted to be the BEST at everything. Many times, even though I was not even good at things, I thought I was. I wanted acknowledgement from others. I didn't realise it then, but a lot of things I did were to get approval from others. I saw someone singing and someone else praising that person, I hated that I was not being acknowledged for the awesome talent I had.  I had some talent, in many fields, and when I look back, I really did not work on my talents and groom it. I worked on it enough to get an acknowledgement from others. I never worked hard to become better at them, I worked superficially just enough to be OK at it & to prove to others that even I was to be considered. It probably showed, but I was happy in my own world. Fast forward a few years, what I realise now is that I was a fool who was trying to take shortcuts. I still try to do it now. Be ...

Sometimes, there are these moments in life, when you look back and wonder, what the hell is happening around. There are so many things, out of control. Life is happening (?), There is honestly not much time spent to pause for sometime and look back, once. I feel like I am just wading through life. Just the smell of a rain in early summer hits the break on that pedal, and I can wonder again, find what is missing in my life while I have been busy running. Today was one such moment. It is raining in Bengaluru & Bengaluru is in a Covid lockdown, it is day 17 of the lockdown. I am honestly bored as hell. I am working from home, however my productivity has hit a new low with the context switches between work @ home & work from home, general boredom, missing professional environment of office & frankly, no one asking too many questions. There are some positives during this difficult time, I have been exercising every morning for ~2 hours, getting more time to spend with my fa...