In the beginning
Sometimes, there are these moments in life, when you look back and wonder, what the hell is happening around.
There are so many things, out of control. Life is happening (?), There is honestly not much time spent to pause for sometime and look back, once. I feel like I am just wading through life. Just the smell of a rain in early summer hits the break on that pedal, and I can wonder again, find what is missing in my life while I have been busy running.
Today was one such moment.
It is raining in Bengaluru & Bengaluru is in a Covid lockdown, it is day 17 of the lockdown. I am honestly bored as hell. I am working from home, however my productivity has hit a new low with the context switches between work @ home & work from home, general boredom, missing professional environment of office & frankly, no one asking too many questions.
There are some positives during this difficult time, I have been exercising every morning for ~2 hours, getting more time to spend with my family, the horrible commute to office is now not present, low pollution, low noise around home in general because of less number of vehicles, money spent on eating out / fuel / shopping, food orders etc being saved. I have gotten a sense of how much burden I put on mother nature & with how little I can survive.
I have also seen & felt the animal nature kicking in when it comes to bare knuckles grabbing objects for survival happens, I have been ashamed of my bearish outlook on market, waiting for the market to tank so that I can invest and make some money.
I have also seen people genuinely caring for each other, a sense of togetherness and a bitter sweet feeling of "all of us are in this together", that lifted the sprits within me, also made me a tad bit optimistic, which is a much needed break from the cynical pessimist I am, many times.
I have gotten more time to think over, to experience life, at times hate being a cog in the wheel of the economic machine, at times wondering if I will ever get out of this at all, and how soon would that be. This plethora of emotions and experiences has made me a better human, I would say.
There are so many things, out of control. Life is happening (?), There is honestly not much time spent to pause for sometime and look back, once. I feel like I am just wading through life. Just the smell of a rain in early summer hits the break on that pedal, and I can wonder again, find what is missing in my life while I have been busy running.
Today was one such moment.
It is raining in Bengaluru & Bengaluru is in a Covid lockdown, it is day 17 of the lockdown. I am honestly bored as hell. I am working from home, however my productivity has hit a new low with the context switches between work @ home & work from home, general boredom, missing professional environment of office & frankly, no one asking too many questions.
There are some positives during this difficult time, I have been exercising every morning for ~2 hours, getting more time to spend with my family, the horrible commute to office is now not present, low pollution, low noise around home in general because of less number of vehicles, money spent on eating out / fuel / shopping, food orders etc being saved. I have gotten a sense of how much burden I put on mother nature & with how little I can survive.
I have also seen & felt the animal nature kicking in when it comes to bare knuckles grabbing objects for survival happens, I have been ashamed of my bearish outlook on market, waiting for the market to tank so that I can invest and make some money.
I have also seen people genuinely caring for each other, a sense of togetherness and a bitter sweet feeling of "all of us are in this together", that lifted the sprits within me, also made me a tad bit optimistic, which is a much needed break from the cynical pessimist I am, many times.
I have gotten more time to think over, to experience life, at times hate being a cog in the wheel of the economic machine, at times wondering if I will ever get out of this at all, and how soon would that be. This plethora of emotions and experiences has made me a better human, I would say.
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